Let's get this out of the way; Life is too short to be shooting José, smashing Coronas and thinking that makes you a baller. (You know who you are "bruh")
Want to really know what spirits make a baller? The trinity of balling is rarity, highest quality and your friends having no idea this stuff exists.
Clase Azul Ultra-aged Tequila, sure it'll only set you back a measly US$3,000 per bottle + shipping but as a sweetened tequila that sips like fortified wine you know panties will be dropping all over your party. Plus that bottle sends a pretty clear message about what to expect right?
If you're just about the money then give a platinum and white gold bottle of Ley .925 Pasion Azteca a go for US$225,000
Everyone thinks they know whisky. The facts are that the Scotch Malt Whisky Society brings out the rarest, most interesting and highest quality scotch of anyone in the industry and everyone should have at least 3 of their bottles (AU$150-$1,5000 each). For true ballers though it's very hard to go past the Dalmore Patterson Collection . It isn't just a fly looking bottle of one of a kind whisky... it's 12... in a one of a kind cabinet... for just shy of £1Million. Sometimes you just gotta ask WWMWD? (What Would Mark Wahlberg Do?)
All y'all thinking I'm going to even mention the Pappy need to a better bartender. You want to be a real baller?
A recently unearthed case of Old Overholt Rye whisky with the "medicinal use only" labels still attached from back in the days of prohibition. These aren't a publicity stunt, they're the real deal; bottled gangster history and you will be up for maybe US$500,000.
Forget every big name, 1858 Cuvée Léonie (as in bottled in 1858) is a paltry US$156,750 and yes some of the cognac in that bottle would have been in barrels while Napoleon was alive.
For your more every day balling experience I'd recommend Jean Grosperrin 1967 Fin Bois, a single barrel bottling for only AU$400.